Five secrets to happy marriage
How fascinating would it be for you to stumble on a map to a secret treasure island? One of the things that makes a treasure valuable is its secret nature, but when it is discovered, it is treasured for its great value. Likewise, there are secrets to a happy marriage, but they need to be meticulously sought out, discovered, learned, and implemented. We have saved you the trouble and we are sharing the map to the secret treasure island of a happy marriage.
Marriage is an institution ordained by God and not man (Genesis 2:19). In order to have a happy marriage, you must submit to the secrets that God design marriage to work on. You might want to ask me, “is it truly possible for anyone to have a happy marriage on this earth?” My absolute answer is YES! This is because everything God created is good, including the marriage institution. However, even though all things are made good, a man/woman can only partake of the goodness of these things only if he or she subscribes to the principles in the heart of God when He created all things.
So now, what are the secrets to a happy marriage?
“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3 NIV)
Communication is one of the primary tools for a happy marriage; no communication, no marriage. It involves your ability to pass your information, ideas, feeling to your partner in order for them to understand you and relate with you accordingly. This is not just about opening up for one partner, but the patience required for the other partner to also understand what his or her spouse is saying per time, this will lead to a blissful marriage. Communication is the foundational principle of any relationship, and it is the secret ingredient to building togetherness in marriage.
2) TOGETHERNESS ;
Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 (KJV)
The protocol of CLEAVING or together is very essential for any marriage to work. The bible says a house divided against itself will not stand, and that includes any marriage. Marriage influences the sense of oneness because “two have become one”. This mindset must be ingrained in your heart if you want a happy marriage. What belongs to the husband, belongs to the wife, what affects the husband, affects the wife. So, you must learn to function as one spirit, one soul and one body. Marriage is a representation of the fellowship and oneness that God desires to happen between God and man.
3) TRUST ;
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18
Trust is the belief in the reliability, truth, and ability of a person. Trust in a marriage gives peace and builds up the confidence of the other partner. There are 3 vital points about trust in marriage:
i. To be trusted, you must be trust worthy. A man or woman that is not trustworthy will have a hard time trusting his or her partner.
ii. Anytime there is fear in your heart concerning your wife or husband, it is a sign you do not trust him or her, but the scripture says, “perfect love eradicates fear.” Irrespective of what is going on, God expects you to trust your spouse. If there is any area of life you find it hard trusting your partner, take it to the Lord in prayer and He will work on the person in order for him or her to become trust worthy.
iii. However, trust is not just given, but it is built by a consistent act of behavior. Therefore, it is essential that you are careful in what you do or say.
Trust is needed in marriage so as not to give room to the devil through disunity.
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
Friendship in marriage is your ability to walk together, live together, forgive one another, share together, laugh and cry together. Your best friend knows your favorite food, favorite color, favorite dress, and your priorities. When you got married, your best friend became your wife automatically. Friendship in marriage is when staying around your wife become a pleasure and you can share your secrets with her or him. A lapsed friendship can be restored with intentionality, sacrifice, perseverance, and especially prayer. That is why a marriage must first be seen as a friendship rather than a love relationship out of necessity. A good first step is to find activities that you like to do together – and then make the time do it.
“And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation” Luke 11:6
In every relationship in life, offence is inevitable. Even Jesus himself said, “Offense must come,” not will or may, but, “must” come. This is because of the fallibility of humanity. As long as you are human, and you make mistakes, you must be willing to forgive when people, especially humans, offend you. It is in forgiving others that you will also receive forgiveness. However, if you are a perfect human with no mistakes to other humans, you are not perfect before God, and He chooses to forgive you eternally. Many want to have a happy marriage without a forgiving heart, which is not possible. Forgiveness is the ability to let go of offenses with a free heart.
George & Debbie