Much assembly required
Tell me one parent that hasn’t made the mistake of buying their child a gift that had “some assembly required,” on the side of the box. If you are anything like me and my wife we’ve done this several times over our 38 years of marriage. Now let’s be honest most women, or at least my wife usually ask someone in the store if there is one in stock already assembled because she dreads the pain of watching me assemble it once we get it home. Let’s face it most men believe we can eyeball most projects and typically think instructions are for dummies. Now it’s a whole other matter once you get the box home and dump out all the contents on the living floor. Our poor wives are usually the ones reading the instructions as we stare in unbelief at the 101 pieces that lay before us. Some of you are having flashbacks about some of your past time projects such as this and hopefully you can laugh about them now. But isn’t this example a lot like marriage? Marriages require much assembly.
Marriage does come with a manual
Most Marriages barely resemble what 93% of married couples dreamed their marriage would be. Many wives barely have time for their husbands, as they’re engrossed in their jobs or raising kids. Husbands have lost the original idea of being “the head” and hardly communicate with their wives because it often stirs emotions they don’t want to deal with. 50% of marriages are failing and even at a greater rate for second and third marriages. No one wants to fail in their marriage. Hopefully we can encourage you that following God’s plan you can succeed in marriage and live happily ever after.
The responsibilities of life seem to pile up in front of marriages blocking the Holy Spirit to come in.
We believe marriage does come with a manual and if marriage came in a box the instruction label would read “much assembly required!” Marriage takes work and it’s a lifetime commitment. It’s crucial to read the instructions before you say ‘I do” and even more importantly to follow the manual throughout your marriage.
Let’s think about God’s design for marriage. It all began in Genesis 2:18-25. This text describes the basis for the original marriage and throughout the bible there is direction for marriage and when applied you can build a solid and happy marriage. Sounds easy right? Well it can be smoother when your marriage is guided by the Holy Spirit. He is our comforter. When God created and designed marriage He clearly placed Himself right in the middle. Many marriages have evicted him. He never planned marriages without Him. Jesus said in John 16:3 “for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.” Inviting the Holy Spirit into your marriage will bring you spiritual guidance and dismisses carnal thinking. Marriage is covenant not a contract and no matter how hard our marriage gets once we settle there is no option to quit and invite the Holy Spirit into your marriage it will grow stronger solid.
50% of marriages are failing and even at a greater rate for second and third marriages. No one wants to fail in their marriage. Hopefully we can encourage you that following God’s plan for marriage you can succeed and live happily ever after.
Be watchful over you marriage
As you feed your body also fed your marriage. Repentance and forgiveness is a daily meal you cannot miss, how better it would be if we develop a repenting attitude and a forgiving spirit toward our spouse. Three sentences should be your watchword regardless of your innocence or guilt – I was wrong. I am sorry. Forgive me, please.
I was wrong
We’re always in a battle to protect our ego because a stab at it would feel like we’ve lost every honor we fight so hard to keep. When conflicts arise, your first instinct would be to assert your innocence and blame your partner, but self-righteousness will get you nowhere. Just as God has promised in his word that – there is, therefore, no condemnation, you need to say – I was wrong.
I am sorry
This is an indication that we are aware that our actions have hurt another. As such, it is only proper to confess with the right emotions – shame and sadness, and that we regret our actions.
Admission of fault is humbling yet extremely necessary. We may try to run from our mistakes, but they eventually catch up. Forgiveness not only frees you but also your spouse and leaves no room for the enemy. Matt 5:23-24 says precisely what to do in situations like these. It takes courage to grant a partner another chance after you’ve been wronged. So when your husband or wife agrees to a wrong, and asks for your forgiveness, let us leave our wrongdoings at the altar and look beyond it to see Christ who has forgiven us all and become who He has created us to be. Leave it at the altar. Once forgiven don’t rehash it again and again.
Is it amazing to us how God can take two different people, joins them together in love and marriage and they become ONE. In the natural it looks impossible but in Mark 10:6-8 Jesus said, “But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” And also in Mark 10:9 “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Coming into Agreement
Without unity in a marriage you will be divided and a house divided cannot stand, Mark 3:25
When couples can’t come into agreement issues will arise and could possibly sever their marriage if not settled. We have found this very common in our marriage ministry – MarirageONE and can almost pin point when couples allowed division to creep in. We all know the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy but he first conquers and divides. If he can cause a husband and wife to think as two and not ONE, then he can begin to destroy the plan of God for their marriage. Did that not happen to Adam and Eve in the garden? They begin to blame each other and alienated themselves. Instead of talking things out and seeking God, they hid and blamed each other. We often hear couples say, “we have learned to agree to disagree,” and our response is what does God’s word say about that. If you disagree with your spouse about an important issue we urge you to read Ephesians 5, the whole chapter is amazing but verse 21 covers how to handle every issue you will cross in marriage. Ephesians 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.” But don’t stop there; continue through the end of the chapter. Submit and serve one another and invite the Holy Spirit to guide you and we promise you there will be no disagreements you can’t resolve. Amos 3:3 clearly tells us, “Two can’t walk together unless they agree.” If you have one parent’s vision for how to raise the children and your spouse has a different vision, then you have division. If you have different visions on your home budget and can’t come to agreement, you again have division. Your visions must be ONE and in unity to create harmony in the home. Ephesian 4:3 “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” When your marriage involves the Holy Spirit conflicts will be easier resolved. Marriage is two people growing up together in Christ.
Sure you will make mistakes and have to walk things out and ask for forgiveness but the more you give permission for the Holy Spirit to be involved, the stronger you will become. Make your marriage unbreakable and unshakeable by doing it God’s way. God made no mistake when he made Eve to be Adam’s helper. He knew it wasn’t good for man to be alone. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:9 “woman was made for man.” God called Eve the helper and Jesus called the Holy Spirit the helper. What an honor for a woman to be held to such high esteem as the helper.
Marriage isn’t complete without the Holy Spirit, the man and the woman. When we operate outside of that bond the enemy will sneak in and destroy the marriage. Protect your marriage from becoming complacent. Resolve issues quickly and don’t be embarrassed to seek help with issues you can’t resolve on your own. The enemy loves to keep things in darkness. The only way to have a successful and strong marriage is to keep God first.
There’s no denying the fact that marriages have problems. Even your marriage may be going through a tough time right now. But you’ve got to have the will to fight to work things out. In the Scriptures, the number one injunction is “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:8) This clearly shows that God will not tolerate any form of interference which can destroy his original plan for marriage.
While none of us were there in the Garden of Eden, we know from Genesis 2 and 3 that Adam and Eve moved around unclad and unashamed. Such nakedness depicts trust, openness, and humility. Before the entrance of sin, they spent their time communing with God and tending the creatures in their care. Such togetherness is what many homes lack in the modern society.
UNPLUG and Fall in love with your spouse again. Don’t allow work or your kids to get in the way of being that friend and lover that your husband or wife needs and desires.
- Fall in LOVE with God again
- Invite the Holy Spirit into your marriage
- Forgive each other quickly
- Reconnect with your spouse
- Seek help – it is okay to get help
- Get involved in your church
- Attend a marriage classes
- Schedule date nights with your spouse
- Pray together
- Unplug from social media and plug into your marriage
Fall in Love with God Again
Some of have forgotten your first Love. Remember God is jealous for you as it says in Exodus 34:14. If your walk is wavering with Christ, you can’t completely love your spouse as you should. The demands on marriages are hard and it does take work and commitment. Marriage can survive and thrive when you aren’t totally surrendered to God. No one wants to just be tolerated in a marriage but rather celebrated. Get your walk with God right.
Love Your Spouse
Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
If you take your time to understand these words, you would hear God’s voice telling you how to love your wife/husband.
Commit to 7 days and read 1 Corinthians 13:13 together with your husband or wife and you will begin to see things in a different light.